Still and quiet in the woods: On becoming a deer hunter

On November 21st, at about 5 pm, this forty-something former vegetarian killed his first deer.

I was sitting in a homemade stand next to the driveway. Something appeared on the right in my peripheral vision, and at first I thought it might be a dog or fox.

It was a mature doe, and after many hours sitting in the woods, still and quiet, it was the first deer to come within range of my 20 gauge single shot.

She was crossing the yard, as they often do, and stopped to nibble some tasty weed. I raised my gun partway and she lifted her head. I froze. I think she saw me, but she didn't bolt. I raised my gun the rest of the way, and the movement must have convinced her it was time to leave. But she didn't run, just walked purposefully toward the woods.

Was she really in range? Yes, I thought so, based on many practice shots and lots of advice from my mentors.

I had a good shot, and was thankful for the practice rounds and the shooting lesson from a trusted friend. The mechanics of aiming felt natural.

I hesitated and my hand trembled. Was I really going to shoot to kill this majestic animal standing in front of me?

Ultimately, I knew in my heart and head that my path to this moment was long and intentional. I pulled the trigger.

A shed antler I found about a year ago.

Steps on that path included sharing in the excitement of good friends who harvested several deer off our farm. It included many long conversations with generous hunters who freely shared advice and encouragement. It included a long-standing desire to become more self-sufficient, and while I've not made my last trip to the super grocery, I am glad to have firewood on the rack and meat in the freezer.

The shot was loud and violent. The doe was knocked back and jumped at an odd angle. She ran off through the woods in distress, making heart-wrenching sounds. That sight and sound stuck with me, and kept me up most of that night.

It was nearly sunset, the light would be fading fast. I got down from my stand and looked around a bit where I hit her, to see if there was blood. Nothing. Not sure what to do, I called Barry, my main hunting mentor (and you don't want to get into hunting without one).

"Look for the blood and follow it" he said. "But if you can't find it, it will get cold enough tonight to keep until morning."

Feeling encouraged, as much by his voice as his words, I went back to look for blood. Nothing. Not knowing what else to do, I walked through the woods and brush where she had run, hoping to stumble upon her. After having ended the life of one of God's beautiful creatures, I faced the heartbreaking prospect of losing it, of the resource going to waste.

Time for my ace in the hole, a friend who claims her new dog is good at tracking deer. I called her at dinnertime on Thanksgiving eve, surely a long shot. "I'll be right over!" was the welcome response, and the one I should have known to expect.

Cynthia is retired Navy, quick to curse, a heart of diamond-encrusted platinum, and more stamina than most men. Her dog Shadow went through the woods, brush, and brambles. Cynthia followed without hesitation. I brought up the rear.

At about ten after six, Shadow found the deer. She had gone to lay down in thick brush for her final moments. I would not have found her. Good dog, Shadow.

I crawled into the brush to pull out the deer whose life I had just ended. God forgive me. Goddess, thank you for your bounty.

Some may think it's wrong to kill a deer. That's a judgement each of us must make on our own, and I don't claim to have the definitive answer. I may yet become a vegetarian again before it's all over.

But I'm certain of three things.

First, humans have drastically altered the ecosystem. Among many other changes, we have mostly eliminated top predators, at least in Piedmont NC. If the deer population is not managed, there will be a dramatic increase in damage to crops, gardens and landscapes, as well as wildlands and natural areas. There would also be many more deaths and injuries from car-deer collisions. Currently hunting is the only viable method for managing the population.

Second, most people are way too removed from the source of their food, and I truly believe this is one of the major ills in our society and economy. If you are a meat eater, and your only experience with meat is the paper-wrapped sandwich at the drive-through, or the plastic-wrapped trays at the grocery store, then you have much to learn. Not that everyone should be required to slaughter and butcher their own meat, but that you should at least understand the process from farm to table.

The meat from my first deer,
back from the processor

Third, venison is lean and nutritious. It makes a very good chili.

For me, those three things were enough to pull the trigger. I have also come to know and care about people who happen to be passionate hunters. I have listened to their stories and some of that passion has affected me. They became my mentors, people like Barry, Rick, Preston, Jim, Paul, Cynthia, Jonathan, Tom and Linda, and many others.

And I certainly do not regret my time in the woods. I have spent countless hours hiking, but sitting still and quiet is much different. A buck, a fox, a doe, and a turkey all came within a few feet of me. I saw their markings, their movements. And they never saw me because I was still and quiet in the woods.