Treading lightly, or rationalizing the vast sums I spend on gadgets and gas

I count myself among those who believe that our current rate of consumption is a path to widespread damage to the ecosystem. Thus I wrestle with the question of how to tread lightly on the earth. Should I recycle more? Stop patronizing certain companies? Buy a hybrid? For all my wrestling, it seems most of my choices fall short.

Two foot overhangs shade windows
in summer, let light in during winter

Case in point, our house is smallish by first-world middle-class standards. It is energy efficient, with passive solar features. Yet we have a bedroom we hardly use, and storage space for belongings we don't need. It's no "McMansion", but it's a bit more than 182 square feet.

I hardly ever buy an electronic device that isn't either used or refurbished. But I have a LOT of electronic devices.

Our vehicles are used and high mileage. Yet they are embarrassingly inefficient. My daily ride is a full-sized F-150, with a powerful, rumbling V-8. [confession: I love it!]

We own a small chunk of forest, complete with flowing stream. We do our best to care for it. Doing so, of course, requires equipment; two chainsaws, three lawnmowers and a string trimmer. Did I mention the small diesel-powered tractor?

If you believe greenhouse gases are causing scary and severe changes to the earth's climate (and I do), then you would certainly have cause to point a finger in our direction.

I bemoan the fact that so many of the goods I purchase (tires, toilet paper, hiking boots, the aforementioned electronics) are manufactured in far off lands by workers who may be treated unfairly and paid poorly, in factories that surely spew pollutants into the air and water. And yet I continue to buy tires and and toilet paper and hiking boots. And electronics, definitely more electronics.

I find the endless aisles of cereal and scented candles and bath towels and kitchen gadgets to be both nauseating and alluring. I have a suspicion we could turn off all the factories and have still have an ample supply of toothpaste and legal pads and patio furniture for the next decade or so, especially if we all took better care of what we have.

I've done a fair amount of paring down material possessions. And yet a certain major on-line retailer makes regular appearances on my credit card statement and once a day I peruse the Deal News website. OK, maybe twice a day. Three times max. I could certainly manage to go a bit further on the "paring down."

I do at least maintain delusions of self-sufficiency, harvesting firewood and venison from our forest.

Expense is a major barrier to living a "sustainable" lifestyle. Right now there is a wire connected to my house that runs straight to the mountain-removing coal mining of West Virginia. While I would love to sever that line, solar panels ain't cheap. Falling short, once again.

Another justification (rationalization?) is that, even if I lived in a Tiny House and drove a hybrid and ate locally grown lentils and rice, the overall impact would be the same as beating an oil tanker with a hammer. "Let's vote with our dollars and stop shopping at 'Save-A-Wad'" is a nice idea, but the companies, I fear, have gotten too big to notice.

In the end, though, I do believe that actions are important. Yet so are conversations. And creating models. And education. And raising the next generation. And the work we do with the time and resources we have. And living a life that is comfortable and satisfying, in pleasant surroundings, with good food and enjoyable pastimes, so we have time and space to rest and recharge and get back to doing good work.

And ultimately, the change we need to solve the sustainability problem is exponentially more profound than the choice between a Prius and a pickup. [Did you hear the new F-150 will be all aluminum?!! Sweet!]

And so, I will continue to buy my electronics refurbished, DVDs at the pawn shop, and cars on craigslist. My next truck will be another gas guzzler, but I will strive to make more visits to the farmers market, and fewer to the super store. And I'll continue to believe that someday, perhaps not in my lifetime, we'll have a world where waters flow clean, forests grow tall and deep, and poverty and hunger and violence are history. Achieving that goal is an unfathomably monumental task. But I remain hopeful that the small steps we take today will move us just a bit closer.