Although I own neither a survival knife nor an underground bunker, I am indeed a prepper.
But how, you ask, can someone be a prepper without an underground bunker?
The answer, my friends, is simple. After thorough application of my powers of prophecy, I remain wholly unconvinced that a bunker-worthy apocalyptic event is eminent.
Full disclosure: Although they haven't been officially tested recently, my powers of prophecy are likely rated in the "poor" to "fair" range.
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You doubt my credentials?
What more proof do you need?
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Nonetheless, I've been studying and applying the prepping concept for years, and aside from the insufferable agony of running out of hazelnut flavored creamer, six weeks without restocking groceries would be easy peazy. Granted, I never served in the special forces, but I do have my canoeing merit badge and was only a couple ranks shy of Eagle Scout. Or was it three? Four max. Clearly my qualifications are formidable. So let's get on with it.
